New Signs Seen Around Manhasset (we are soooooo amusing!) At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment. At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner. At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak. At a tire shop: Invite us to your next blowout. At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents? At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be. Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs. Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted. Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: Hello. May we pick your nose? Gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear! In a counselors office: Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional. In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you. In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs. In a clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks. In a medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. In a cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves. In a Podiatrist's window: Time wounds all heels. In a veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay! In an office building washroom: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below. In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. In front of a car wash: If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car. In the window of a department store: Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here? Inside a bowling alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop. Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on Labor Day. Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance) On a local plumbing company's trucks: Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber. On a Music Teacher's door: Out Chopin.   More Jokes ...    21 December 2005